Sunday, March 22, 2015

Doing My Own Thing Is Hard


There's this thing where people say that when they read your blog or watch a video that they know when you're being fake. They can tell, people say, when you're not being yourself and allowing you personality to shine. But I find this to be problematic because while people who know me in real life will call me an incredibly random, loud person, that doesn't always show on this blog.

I'm far more controlled and reserved about hosing my true nature on this blog (or any other blog for that matter) simply because I am incredibly critical of myself. I read reviews I've written six months ago and I cringe because I don't think it's good enough. For me, my blog is my way of sharing my thoughts with the world and I write it for myself. And this very notion is the problem: I write it for myself. Therefore, I have the ability to analyze it and over analyze it and even if a review or discussion might be my absolute favorite at the time it was written, there is a 99.9% chance that the next time I read it, I will find fault with it.

Yet my people pleaser, perfectionist side wins out EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

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